The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth

Have you ever felt like you're not enough? That no matter what you do and how you behave, there will always be something else to accomplish before you are loved and accepted. Have you ever believed differently from what you are told? You might think that crying is a good way to release emotions. However, someone you respect and admire may say that crying is a sign of weakness. What do you do then? Do you cry, or do you not? When you think about it, you may have accepted these ways of being throughout your childhood, but you are now struggling to understand why. Let's take a moment to analyse why this happens by understanding the self-congruence and condition of worth concepts.

• First, we will discuss Carl Rogers' self-concept explanation.
• We will then talk about the meaning of incongruence in psychology.
• Next, we will explore Carl Rogers' conditions of worth.
• Then we will look at the conditions of worth definition.
• We will then discuss some conditions of worth examples.
• Next, we will talk about its influence on counselling psychology.
• Finally, we will evaluate the therapeutic process as put forward by Carl Rogers.

Carl Rogers' Self-Concept Explanation

According to Carl Rogers, a person's self-concept consists of three parts: self-image, ideal self, and self-esteem. Let's take a moment to understand each of these before we move on further.

Fig. 1 - Our self-image is shaped by how we look at and think about ourselves.

Next, let's look at our ideal self.

Now, we may briefly know what self-esteem is, but how can it be defined?

Overall, we can say that the self-concept is what we think about ourselves. Therefore, our self-esteem can be positive or negative depending on how we view ourselves.

Incongruence: Psychology

According to Carl Rogers, when a person's self-image matches their ideal self, they are said to be in a state of congruence. However, have you ever felt that the way you perceive yourself is 100% a reflection of the person you would like to be? The chances of that are very low, and this is what is known as incongruence.

Roger's premise is that everyone has an innate drive to grow, develop and reach their full potential. To achieve this, we must be in a state of congruence.

In addition to the concept of the self and congruence, Rogers put forward something known as conditions of worth.

Conditions of Worth: Carl Rogers

You would be surprised how often we, as individuals, have come across different phrases that are considered conditions of worth. 'Men don't cry', 'girls should not have facial hair', 'work hard to be successful' - do any of these sound familiar?

Conditions of worth develop when we accept other people's rules or opinions about how we should be, and therefore, are something that parents can impose on their children. They are made to believe that they must behave in the correct way or meet certain conditions for their parents to love and accept them, i.e., conditional positive regard.

On the other hand, when we are offered unconditional positive regard, we can develop positively.

So we know how they are developed, but how can conditions of worth be defined?

Conditions of Worth Definition

When we start behaving according to the expectation of others - an expectation that doesn't match our individual views - we are said to be in a state of incongruence, which can significantly impact our mental capacities.

Conditions of Worth Examples

Let's look at some common examples of conditions of worth that you may find familiar.

Now that we've discussed Carl Rogers' theory and understood some examples let's explore the influence this theory can have on counselling psychology.

Influence on Counselling Psychology

When we think of counselling psychology, we aim to understand an individual's feelings based on their experiences. One way of doing so is by using client-centered therapy. Let's take a look at this in a little more detail.

The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth: Client-Centered Therapy

Following his proposals about the self and conditions of worth, Carl Rogers developed what we know today as client-centered therapy.

It is this form of therapy that works towards developing individuals into becoming fully-functioning people. We know therapy aims to better ourselves, but what is a fully-functioning person?

Remember we spoke about unconditional positive regard? Well, someone who is considered to be 'fully-functioning' is someone who has received this in large quantities, allowing them not to put conditions on their idea of their own self-worth. They embrace what life offers - the good, the bad and the ugly - and welcome any challenges with open arms.

It's hard to believe that we bring our childhood experiences with us into adulthood. But that happens. And that's the influence we'll be discussing here. Conditions of worth can lead to issues with our mental health and impact our personality. Let's have a look at how.

The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth: Mental Health Issues

When we are children, we have an inherent need to seek approval from our parents, caregivers and society. For this reason, even though we may not agree with them sometimes, we tend to still act the way they want us to. This might seem like a small compromise at the time, but it stays with us for years to come.

Fig. 2 - When conditions of worth become ingrained in us, and we believe we have to act the way that is expected of us, we can harm our mental health.

Feelings of shame, guilt, worry and the constant need to please others can leave you feeling anxious and stressed, which can impact you mentally: sleep disturbances, low mood, irritability and substance abuse are just a few.

The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth: Personality Development

According to Carl Rogers, what impacts personality development is the self, i.e., our self-image. What forms the core of our being? Why do we think about ourselves in one way or not the other? Why is everyone's self-image different? These are all questions central to our personality development and can be answered by our experiences and interpretations of those very experiences.

Rogers believed that individuals have an inherent need to behave in the manner they believe is the best and most appropriate. However, their beliefs are often resisted when people important to them believe differently. It is this condition that causes discrepancies and can impact our self-worth negatively.

Let's look at an example to see how conditions of worth can impact personality development in adulthood.

Evaluation of Carl Rogers' Client-Centered Therapy

Each theory comes with its own set of strengths and weaknesses. Let's discuss some of these concerning Carl Rogers' theory below.

The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth: Strengths

• The client-centered approach to therapy provides an avenue for the individual to increase their sense of awareness regarding their situation and encourages them to be in control - of their problems, feelings and potential solutions.

• By providing individuals with control, client-centered therapy also helps with their confidence levels. Since they can make decisions for themselves, with the therapist acting only as a guide, it increases their self-belief in their ability to manage their difficult feelings and emotions.

The Self Congruence and Conditions of Worth: Weaknesses

• On the flip side, client-centered therapy doesn't allow therapists to express concern about their client's situations. Further, therapists cannot offer suggestions that might help clients think of their situation differently, in a manner that they may not be able to themselves, i.e., there is no room for objectivity.

• Carl Rogers emphasises unconditional positive regard and says individuals need to receive this to develop positive self-worth. This emphasis disrupts therapy as therapists cannot question an individual's thoughts and are therefore forced to accept them, even if they may know how they could be dealt with effectively.