Sexual Orientation

Based on a matter of principle, it is reasonable to say that our experiences and expressions of sexuality are private. However, the diversity of the sexual experience (particularly that which strays from the normative 'heterosexuality') has been highly politicised and publicised for many years. Modern-day discussions of sexuality are usually centred around equal rights, the politics of 'acceptance' and the policing of bodies. Let's take things a step back and refresh our understanding of what exactly sexual orientation means.

• In this explanation, we'll be discussing sexual orientation.
• We'll start by exploring the meaning of sexual orientation in terms of its definition, and a quick overview of the philosophical origin of love.
• We'll briefly explore the difference between sexual identity and sexual orientation, followed by a (non-exhaustive) list of sexual orientations and their definitions.
• Finally, we'll clear up our understanding of the difference between 'sexual orientation' and 'gender identity'.

Happy Pride! Let's do this.

What is the meaning of 'sexual orientation'?

The study of sexuality and sexual identity has been explored across a range of disciplines in academia. Its roots can be traced back to psychologists and sociologists, with more contemporary disciplines, such as queer theory, emerging in recent years.

Defining 'sexual orientation'

The Pride (rainbow) flag has become a political symbol, used in the celebration of sexual diversity around the world. Pexels

You might often see that the terms 'sexual orientation' and 'sexuality' are used interchangeably. In many instances, the word 'sexuality' is also used to refer to one's sexual orientation. However, 'sexuality' can also be used to refer to someone's capacity for experiencing sexual feelings, or their engagement in sexual activity.

Sexual identity vs sexual orientation: what’s the difference?

Some sources say that the terms sexual identity and sexual orientation can be used interchangeably, while some others (very few of them, actually) say that the two terms are slightly different (in that sexual identity is a combination of sexual orientation and gender identity).

The most common distinction between sexual identity and sexual orientation is made, such that:

• the term sexual identity refers to how we feel and identify in terms of our sexuality (including our sexual orientation, sexual behaviour and sexual expression),

• the term sexual orientation refers to how we feel and identify in terms of our sexual, emotional and/or romantic attraction towards others.

What are the different types of sexual orientation?

You are likely familiar with the acronym LGBTQIA+, which stands for (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, intersex, asexual, and beyond). It has been used, historically and in contemporary discourse, to signal the various experiences of gender and sexuality that people have (aside from cisgenderism and heterosexuality). The acronym has been repeatedly updated and adapted to be more inclusive.

The "+" at the end is indicative of the fact that there are infinite, unique experiences and expressions of sexuality all over the world which are difficult (if not impossible) to place into finite categories.

At most, we can categorise (some, but not all) sexual orientations as follows:

• attraction to men,

• attraction to women,

• attraction to the same gender,

• attraction to a different gender,

• attraction to multiple genders, and

• attraction to nobody.

Is there a sexual orientation list?

There are many ways to advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights, including attending Pride events, voting and speaking with people with more traditional or close-minded stances. Pixabay

While there are many lists of sexual orientations that you can find in books, academic texts and websites, it may be misguided to say that we have an exhaustive list of sexual orientations that can tell us everything we need to know. It might also seem odd to say that this is a strength on our part as a society - but it's true!

The fact that we don't have a singular, all-encompassing list of sexual orientations shows strength in our awareness that the human experience is too diverse to compile it all into a single book or webpage.

However, just as is the case with other experiences of diversity (including our gender identities, for instance), there are several trusted sources we can look to in order to familiarise ourselves with the most commonly identified sexual orientations.

Let's look at some of them now!

Allosexual orientation

The term 'allosexual' is not a very popular one, but it does hold a lot of value. The word is used to refer to those who do experience sexual attraction, and helps normalise the existence and experiences of asexual people, who do not experience sexual attraction.

Androsexual orientation

The term androsexual refers to an attraction to those who identify as men or masculine, regardless of the sex which they were assigned at birth.

Asexual orientation (or "ace")

As mentioned, the term 'asexual' refers to someone who does not feel sexual attraction to other people, or at all. Someone who is asexual is not also necessarily aromantic, as they may well feel a romantic attraction to others.

Many people go through periods where they feel like they don't want to have sex - that doesn't necessarily mean that they are asexual. Moreover, asexuality is different from celibacy, which is when people choose not to have sex. Asexuality, like all sexual orientations, is not a choice!

Bisexual orientation (or "bi")

The term 'bisexuality' is often misunderstood as reaffirming the gender binary (with the prefix "bi" meaning 'two'). However, someone who is bisexual doesn't necessarily only experience sexual attraction towards cisgender men and women.

Someone who identifies as bisexual tends to be sexually attracted to people of more than one gender.

Demisexual orientation

The demisexual orientation is said to fall on the spectrum of asexuality, and is used to describe those who only experience sexual attraction to under particular circumstances (for example, after they have established a romantic relationship with somebody).

Fluid

The word 'fluid', just the same as in its reference to gender identity, refers to those who experience changes in their sexuality (including orientation, behaviour and expression) overtime.

Gay

The word gay was traditionally used to describe men who are attracted to other men, but now is often used in reference to anybody who experiences attraction to the same gender.

Gynesexual orientation

The term gynesexual refers to an attraction to those who identify as women or feminine, regardless of the sex which they were assigned at birth.

Heterosexual orientation (or "straight")

Someone who identifies as heterosexual experiences attraction towards people of a different gender (typically, the "opposite" sex).

Homosexual orientation

The term homosexual is a relatively outdated one - it was used in medical and psychological discourse in, often, quite dehumanising ways. It was used to describe people who experience sexual attraction towards people of the same gender.

Lesbian

Some women who experience attraction towards other women prefer the term lesbian. However, as mentioned, some may also prefer the label "gay".

Pansexual orientation

The term pansexual typically describes those who experience attraction towards anyone, regardless of that person's sexual or gender identity.

Queer

The word 'queer' is loaded with a rich history - not all of which is positive. In the past, the word 'queer' was used as a slur to insult and offend people with diverse sexual identities. While some people still find it offensive, others have chosen to reclaim it and use it as a form of empowerment.

Questioning

Someone who is questioning may be exploring or figuring out their sexual orientation. People who are exploring bisexuality are often referred to as bicurious.

Is there a difference between sexual orientation and gender identity?

While our sexual orientation is about who we are attracted to, our gender identity is more about how we ourselves feel and identify.

The diversity of our experience

Although our sexual orientation and gender identity are two distinct characteristics, the premise which underlies their diverse existence is the same: that the traditional binary of 'male and female' doesn't adequately capture the human experience of gender or sexuality.

Furthermore, a common characteristic of our sexual orientations and gender identities are that they can both be fluid. How we identify in terms of our gender and sexuality can (and likely will) change over the course of our lives as we learn more about ourselves and open ourselves up to more experiences.

Talking about it

Another similarity between the concepts of sexual orientation and gender identity is in how they should be approached in both academic and everyday discourse.

The bottom line is that we must be open to listening to and understanding the experiences of our gender diverse friends, instead of assuming how they feel and how they would like to be 'labelled' (if at all).

Coming out

The term coming out (or "coming out of the closet") refers to the process of opening up to others about how we experience and identify in terms of our gender and sexuality.

The process of coming out can be incredibly empowering for some people of diverse gender and sexual identities, and for others, it can be extremely difficult. If someone chooses to disclose their identities to the people around them, it's crucial to show respect and support in several ways. This can include:

• asking and using their preferred name and pronouns,

• not disclosing their identity to others, unless they specifically ask you to,

• standing up to people who refuse to accept the experiences of LGBTQIA+ people, and

• listening to their feelings and experiences, without assuming to know.