Imagine your friend is telling you about a man she met online a few days ago. They haven’t met in person, but she tells you they have ‘talked about the meaning of life, love, and everything in-between’. As predicted by many psychologists, this is an example of how self-disclosure in virtual relationships. So what are the characteristics of self-disclosure? How does self-disclosure affect virtual relationships?
- We are going to explore self-disclosure in virtual relationships. First, we will look at the different types of virtual relationships to give context to our discussion.
- Then, we will briefly mention parasocial relationship levels.
- After, we will explore self-disclosure in virtual relationships in psychology.
- Then we will look at some characteristics of self-disclosure and why self-disclosure is closely tied to relationship development.
- And finally, we will examine some relationship psychology theories.
Fig. 1 - Self-disclosure involves sharing information in relationships and naturally occurs in virtual relationships.
Types of Virtual Relationships
Virtual relationships can be different for everyone. Virtual relationships can be defined as a relationship carried out entirely online, communicating digitally through online messaging or video services.
Virtual relationships can be platonic, communicating with family over long distances, or romantic, such as talking with a long-distance partner.
Self-Disclosure in Virtual Relationships: Psychology
Self-disclosure can be defined as sharing information about yourself. Many psychologists state that virtual relationships encourage greater and deeper sharing. Although influenced by many factors, the main reasons for this phenomenon in virtual relationships, according to some theories in psychology, are anonymity and a lack of commitment virtual relationships offer.
The anonymity of online relationships and the ability to leave the conversation at any time, alongside a lack of accountability, are characteristics of self-disclosure that means people feel more comfortable sharing information.
This can be intentional or unintentional!
Characteristics of Self-Disclosure
Self-disclosure can include sharing information with another person verbally or non-verbally. Both of these things can tell you a lot about a person. Therefore, they are self-disclosing information about themselves.
Verbal communication would include saying something to someone else, such as a thought or feeling. Expressing yourself can lead to greater feelings of intimacy or bonding opportunities.
Non-verbal communication includes body language and other ways we present ourselves to others, such as through clothes, accessories and tattoos.
According to the Social Penetration Theory, successful self-disclosure needs to be gradual and have a strong foundation of trust.
Parasocial Relationship Levels
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships that occur when someone shows interest in another person who does not know who they are.
The most common example of parasocial relationships is people's infatuations with celebrities, such as actors, musicians or popular sports team players.
Psychologists Giles and Maltby (2006) suggested three levels to a parasocial relationship, each with increasing intensity to the emotional value of the one-sided relationship for that person involved:
- Entertainment-social.
- Intense-personal.
- Borderline-pathological.
Naturally, parasocial relationships typically occur in virtual relationships when we consider the nature of how they develop. Typically, a person follows a celebrity over social media and becomes increasingly ingrained in the fan culture surrounding their favourite celebrities in some cases.
Relationship Psychology Theories
Various psychological theories explore the nature of relationships and how they develop. Relationships are intrinsic to human society and, thus, are important to us. A few key theories shed light on self-disclosure in virtual relationships:
- The Reduced Cues Theory.
- The Hyperpersonal Model.
They explore whether we share more, or less, in virtual relationships.
Self-Disclosure in Virtual Relationships: Reduced Cues Theory
Sproull and Kessler (1986) suggested that we share less online due to a reduced amount of non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
According to Sproull and Kessler, this leads to deindividuation, where reduced cues and anonymity make people lower their standards of behaviour and have a reduced sense of individuality. Sharing less online leads to impersonal conversation and a reluctance to self-disclose.
Catfishing is an extreme example of deindividuation. When someone pretends to be another person using an online profile, the individual’s lowered standard of behaviour is clear from their deception, whilst their individuality is lost through pretending to be someone else.
However, some researchers suggest that instead of reduced cues, online relationships have different cues, such as emojis, time taken to reply, and tone of reply.
Fig. 2 - Various theories explore whether we disclose more or less in virtual relationships.
Self-Disclosure in Virtual Relationships: The Hyperpersonal Model
Walher (1996, 2011) suggested the opposite of the reduced cues theory, saying self-disclosure increased in online relationships. According to Walher, self-disclosure occurs quickly online due to anonymity, a lack of accountability, the ability to craft answers and your image, and the fact that you can leave at any point.
Self-disclosure is measured in-depth and in breadth. Breadth refers to the amount/variety of information, whilst depth refers to the personal nature of the information, e.g., a ‘deep’ conversation might be talking about your childhood.
Cooper and Sportolari (1997) suggested that in online relationships, increased self-disclosure, in both breadth and depth, leads to the ‘boom and bust’ phenomenon. This phenomenon describes what happens when potential partners self-disclose too fast without the proper grounding of trust needed to maintain the relationship. Therefore, their relationship busts and breaks down.
Online relating can lead to destructive results when people act on or compulsively overindulge in a speeded-up, eroticized pseudo-intimacy¹.
The nature of virtual relationships has been likened to the stranger phenomenon by Rubin (1975). People are more likely to share details about themselves, especially personal details, with strangers because they will probably never see that person again.
The consequences of sharing such personal information are virtually non-existent. Judgment is lessened, and possible ramifications are mostly absent.
Evaluation of Self-Disclosure in Virtual Relationships
Bargh et al. (2002) conducted three experiments which found those who expressed their ‘true selves' on the internet were more likely to form close relationships online.
They found that whilst the concept of the ‘true self’ was more recognisable to undergraduates online; they were able to express this ‘true self’ better than in face-to-face interactions.
Students were assigned a partner to interact with either face-to-face or online in the third experiment. Bargh et al. (2002) found that those who interacted online could better express their true selves to their partners.
As previously discussed, the suggestion that there are reduced or no cues in online relationships is not entirely true. Today, cues can be expressed by emojis, voice notes (tone of voice), punctuation and the amount of time it takes to reply, amongst other things.
The recent boom in online dating (25-29-year-olds are most likely to meet their significant other on a dating app) reflects the ability to communicate successfully online, disputing the suggestion that it is a deindividuated and cue-less form of communication.
Whitty and Johnson (2009) studied online communication and found that users are often direct, asking intimate and probing questions. This supports the hyperpersonal model, suggesting that self-disclosure happens faster in online relationships.
Relationships are rarely all online. It is flawed to assume that a relationship will only be online. Today, often people talk online in anticipation of an in-person date. Thus, theories of online communication are flawed as in-person interactions could influence online self-disclosure.
McKenna and Bargh (2000) found that relationships formed online were 70% likely to last more than two years. This percentage is higher than so-called ‘offline’ relationships, supporting the idea that greater self-disclosure and the absence of gates in online relationships can build stronger bonds.
Self-Disclosure in Virtual Relationships - key takeaways
- Self-disclosure can be defined as sharing information about yourself. Virtual relationships can be defined as a relationship carried out entirely online, communicating digitally through online messaging or video services.
- Psychologists such as Walher (1996, 2011) and Cooper and Sportolari (1997) think that self-disclosure increases in online relationships (hyperpersonal model).
- Studies by McKenna and Bargh (2000) and Whitty and Johnson (2009) support the theory of increased self-disclosure in online relationships.
- In contrast, Sproull and Kessler (1986) suggest that online relationships have decreased communication due to the absence of non-verbal cues (reduced cues theory).
- Negatives of investigating self-disclosure in online relationships are that relationships are rarely totally online, and cues may be different rather than absent, for instance, through the use of emojis and message response times.
References
- Cooper, A., & Sportolari, L. (1997). Romance in cyberspace: Understanding online attraction. Journal of Sex Education & Therapy, 22(1), 7–14.
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