I, Being born a Woman and Distressed

'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' (1923) is a poem by Edna St Vincent Millay about female sexuality and desire. Don't let its short length and seeming simplicity fool you, this poem carries a lot of complexity and leaves a lot of room for debate.

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Table of contents
    'I Being born a Woman and Distressed' Summary & Analysis
    Written inThe Harp-Weaver and Other Poems (1923)
    Written byEdna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950)
    FormPetrarchan sonnet
    GenreAnti-romantic, feminist poetry
    MeterIambic pentameter with variations
    Rhyme schemeFixed rhyme scheme: ABBA ABBA CDCDCD
    ToneAssertive and honest tone or mean, impersonal tone; either way, there are hints of an ironic tone
    MoodStrong, empowering mood or harsh mood
    ThemesSex and sexuality, desire and lust vs. reason, feminism
    SummaryA woman asserts that although she can't help but feel attracted to her sexual partner, her attraction is just sexual attraction and nothing more.
    AnalysisThis is a feminist poem that affirms female sexuality. Some have interpreted the poem as an external struggle between the speaker and her sexual partner, and others as an internal struggle between lust and reason.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': context

    Edna St. Vincent Millay is a celebrated 20th-century poet known for her sonnets. While many Modernists were busy throwing out and innovating traditional literary forms, Millay was perfecting her sonnets. In her poetry, Millay found expression for her experiences of gender and sexuality, conveying feminist messages.

    She was at the height of her popularity in the early 1920s, winning the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1923 for her poetry collection, The Harp-Weaver, and Other Poems (1923), which included 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed'. Millay was open about sex and sexuality, openly identifying as bisexual and having several flings with both men and women. Millay's public image was defined by her talent, sexual liberalism, and beauty.

    In the same year, after rejecting many suitors, she married Eugen Jan Boissevain, the widower of a leading American suffragist. The two had an open marriage – with both consensually engaging in sexual affairs – for 26 years.

    Some contemporary critics dismissed Millay's work for its adherence to traditional poetic forms, such as the sonnet. Her subject matter – women's sexuality – was also often dismissed as frivolous.

    This adherence to traditional forms is perhaps why she is not studied alongside the other great women poets of the time, such as the more experimental, modernist poets H.D., Marianne Moore, Gertrude Stein and Mina Loy.

    Social and historical context

    Edna St. Vincent Millay has been hailed a 'New Woman' icon and 'I, Being born Woman and Distressed' examines new forms of womanhood taking shape amidst the social and cultural change of the early 20th century.

    The New Woman

    The umbrella term for women who came of age between 1890 and 1920 and who challenged gender norms and Victorian ideals.

    The New Woman pursued her own needs and desires, seeking financial, social and sexual freedoms and independence. The New Woman is politically engaged, educated and pursues her own career. The term 'New Woman' does not refer to a singular female identity, but encompasses the many ways women broke away from gender norms in the early 20th century.

    I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed, Edna St. Vincent Millay,StudySmarterFig. 1 - 'I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed' was written by Edna St. Vincent Millary, who explores themes of gender inequality in her works.

    The Roaring '20s

    The poem is set in the 1920s, a time of prosperity and social and cultural change. In 1920, the United States government passed the 19th Amendment and women were given the vote. By being given equal voting rights to their male counterparts, women were officially recognised as people in their own right.

    Many women wanted to be members of society on an equal footing with men; many moved to urban centres to pursue their careers. To get in on the fun, women began to dress in less conservative clothing and pursued romantic and sexual connections without marriage as a necessary end goal.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': poem

    Here is 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' by Edna St. Vincent Millay in its entirety:

    1 I, being born a woman and distressed

    2 By all the needs and notions of my kind,

    3 Am urged by your propinquity to find

    4 Your person fair, and feel a certain zest

    5 To bear your body's weight upon my breast:

    6 So subtly is the fume of life designed,

    7 To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,

    8 And leave me once again undone, possessed.

    9 Think not for this, however, the poor treason

    10 Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,

    11 I shall remember you with love, or season

    12 My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:

    13 I find this frenzy insufficient reason

    14 For conversation when we meet again.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': summary and meaning

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' is about a woman examining her feelings and coming to the conclusion that all she feels is lust for the man to whom she is attracted. Millay presents a strong, defiant voice in the poem who refuses to accept the limitations placed on her as a woman.

    The poem works against the expected, traditional content of a sonnet, therefore creating a slightly ironic, mocking tone.


    When something is inconsistent with our expectations of what it should be, or when something means something very different from what is said.

    The irony comes from the fact that sonnets are traditionally declarations of love, but this poem is instead an unromantic declaration of lust and an affirmation of female sexuality.

    Different interpretations and debate

    Some readers think that the poem is actually tongue-in-cheek and ironic and that the speaker is not actually overcome by her desires. The speaker's use of hyperbolic ('distressed', 'stout blood against my staggering brain') and overly-formal language ('propinquity' meaning closeness) hints at the sonnet being a mockery of such dramatic expressions.

    Or the speaker could be genuine. What interpretation do you find more convincing - that it is or is not ironic?

    There is also debate over whether this poem is about an internal or external struggle. Is the poem spoken out loud to the addressee or is she speaking to herself?

    Furthermore, is there an implication that something happens in the real world between the speaker and the man she is addressing? When the speaker says that she was 'undone, possessed', it could be interpreted that she acts on her lust and she sleeps with him. The poem also holds the implication that they will 'meet again', perhaps because they are lovers.

    Or, it could be interpreted that she is left 'undone, possessed' by her own lust because it 'clouds' her mind temporarily. The fact that the poem ends with the refusal of conversation with this person ('I find this frenzy insufficient reason / For conversation when we meet again') can be taken as evidence that this utterance was never said out loud.

    Would the poem be more powerful if it was said out loud to the man? Is the poem more powerful if the speaker is being honest with a man, or is it just as powerful that she is being honest with herself?

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': themes

    The main themes of the poem are gender and sexuality, and the body vs. the mind.

    Gender and sexuality

    The poem's central theme is female desire and sexuality. In this poem, a woman talks openly about her sexuality, which was rare at the time.

    Millay's declaration that women have sexual 'needs and notions' is important because, at the time, it was believed that women didn't have sexual desires as men did. On top of this, it was believed that men could separate love from lust, but that women could not.

    To what extent are these attitudes toward female sexuality still prevalent today?

    The poem is blatantly honest about female sexuality, yet it is not just a straightforward proclamation of female desire, as the speaker seems to resent her sexual feelings for this man.

    The body vs. the mind

    The main tension in the poem is between the body and the mind, or between lust and reason. By using reason, the speaker is able to discern between love and lust; just because you feel a strong attraction to someone, it does not mean you love them.

    Essentially, the poem has a 'mind over matter' message: through reason, the speaker can assert control over her body; you can't control who you're attracted to, argues the speaker, but you can use reason to control how you act. It is this prevalence of reason over passion that makes the poem so anti-romantic: as in a romantic poem, passion triumphs over reason.

    This tension is reflected by the juxtaposition of mind and body terms in several lines: line 7 juxtaposes the speaker's 'pulse' with her 'mind', line 10 juxtaposes 'blood' with 'brain' and line 13 juxtaposes 'frenzy' with 'reason'.

    Millay's poem implies that women who want to explore their sexuality should use reason to protect themselves from ending up with the wrong man, as lust can be distracting. The speaker's body tries, and fails, to fool her into thinking that she is in love with him by making her heart race ('clarify the pulse') and making her forget about his flaws ('and cloud the mind').

    It is possible that her coldness toward him is a response to the 'red flags' he has exhibited. Although the speaker doesn't explain why, she says that she feels 'scorn' for the man she is attracted to. The poem itself seems to be a response to the man mistaking her attraction for love, which leads her to address him in a defensive tone, 'Think not for this, however, the poor treason'.

    Despite the fact that her body wants her to be close to this unsuitable suitor, she must use reason to keep her distance from him – whether that's physical or emotional distance.

    But does her mind truly succeed over her bodily urges? In the end, she says they will meet again.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': analysis

    Frequent analysis of the poem by critics state that the poem is written in a very personal and emotional style, with vivid imagery that conveys the speaker's sense of isolation and despair. The use of the first person singular 'I' in the title and throughout the poem emphasises the personal nature of the poem and the speaker's experience. Let's explore the form, meter, and rhyme scheme of the poem.


    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' is written in the form of a Petrarchan sonnet.

    A sonnet traditionally has fourteen lines, and a Petrarchan sonnet divides these fourteen lines into two sections:

    • the octave (an eight-line stanza)

      • composed of two quatrains (two sets of four lines)

      • with a rhyme pattern of ABBA ABBA

    • the sestet (a six-line stanza)

      • composed of two tercets (two sets of three lines)

      • with a rhyme pattern of CDC DCD or CDE CDE

    Traditionally, the octave presents a problem that is resolved in the sestet.

    • One view is that Millay subverts our expectations of the problem and resolution structure of the sonnet by making the conflict an internal one between the speaker's body and mind, a conflict between lust and reason.

    • Millay further subverts the Petrarchan sonnet by renouncing intimacy in the concluding sestet, rather than giving in to her lustful feelings and calling it 'love'.

    • The speaker's ability to frankly declare that she does not feel any love mocks the confusion of love for lust that often takes place in the sonnet form. (Is Shakespeare's 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day' truly a declaration of love, or is it one of lust?)

    Why did Millay write sonnets?

    Sonnets were an outdated literary form by the time Millay came to write them. They were exultations of love written by men to woo women. So why does Millay use the form at all rather than discard it and write in a more modern literary form?

    • Millay may have chosen the sonnet form to purposefully carve out a space for herself as a woman, and as a female poet work within the form's constraints to subvert it from the inside.
    • It may also help to look at another of Millay's sonnets to understand how Millay views the sonnet form. In 'I will put Chaos into fourteen lines' ('Sonnet 168'), Millay exerts control over 'Chaos' with the rules and restrictions of the sonnet form. Is it possible that the sonnet form is also used in 'I, being Woman and Distressed' to exert control over the chaos of lust?


    Petrarchan sonnets are traditionally written in iambic pentameter.

    Iambic pentameter

    A line of verse with five iambs (one unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable).

    A line of iambic pentameter reads like, 'da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM'.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' is written in iambic pentameter, with some significant variations.

    For example, there are two key spondees.

    A spondee is a metric foot made up of two stressed syllables.

    I, being born a woman and distressed"

    • In the first foot, 'I, be' are both syllables that are stressed. Spondees are used for emphasis. The poem opens with an emphasis on the speaker's self, kicking off the poem with a burst of high energy that presents us with a self-assertive female speaker.

    • This spondee is coupled with a caesura (a break in the middle of a line), as a pause is abruptly created by the comma between 'I' and 'being'. The speaker immediately asserts herself and disrupts the flow of the sonnet, telling the reader that this won't be a traditional sonnet. This disruption in meter and rhythm highlights Millay's disruption of the sonnet form by making a woman the speaker and lust the subject, as opposed to love.

    • However, if you think that the opening to the poem is ironic, you might read this caesural spondee as purposefully over the top and dramatic.

    Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,"

    • The spondee here is 'stout blood'. These stressed monosyllabic words with strong consonants create a strong, thick sound, connoting the thickness of the speaker's 'stout' blood. You can almost feel these words pulsating against the line of the poem like blood in a vein.

    • This spondee serves to highlight the way the speaker's sexual desires overwhelm her mind.

    Another key variation to note is the expansion of most of the lines in the sestet: lines 9 through 11 and 13 hold an extra syllable, making up eleven syllables per line as opposed to the ten syllables expected of poetry written in iambic pentameter.

    • Perhaps, these lines have been engorged like veins ('stout blood') as lust tries to take over the poem, but the speaker's reason triumphs over her lust, subduing the final rhyming lines - lines 12 and 14 - back to ten syllables.


    As we have seen, the rhythm of the poem is immediately halted within its first metrical foot by the use of caesura.


    A pause near the middle of a line of poetry.

    The rhythm remains pretty steady for the rest of the octave until it ends with a halt:

    undone, possessed."

    This pause in the rhythm implies that she has momentarily given into her lust. Caesuras are also used in the final sestet to create a sense of relentlessness:

    Think not for this, however, the poor treason

    I shall remember you with love, or season

    My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:"

    There is a sense of defensiveness in the caesuras, showing firmness in the speech: the speaker does not love the addressee and she wants to make this perfectly clear to him.


    The poem follows a rigid rhyme scheme typical of Petrarchan sonnets: ABBA ABBA, CDC DCD.

    We can interpret the consistency of the rhyme scheme as a sign that the speaker always retains a degree of control throughout the poem, even as she is moved by feelings of lust. The rhyme scheme also heightens the ironic tone of the poem, as the words 'zest', 'distressed' and 'breast' sound comical when put together, rather than creating the romantic and sensual tone expected of a sonnet.

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed': analysis of devices

    The main poetic and literary devices used in the poem are tone, mood, imagery, and alliteration.


    Millay inverts the traditional role that women have occupied in sonnets with her female speaker. In this sonnet, the woman is the subject, not the object, of desire.

    Tone and mood

    The tone can be interpreted as:

    • anti-romantic
    • ironic
    • honest
    • assertive
    • bold
    • impersonal
    • logical

    Could we describe the speaker's tone as cold and even hurtful?

    The poem creates a slightly humorous mood through its clever mockery of the sonnet form. By the end of the octave, there is a sense of overwhelm, but the speaker's assertiveness makes for an energetic, triumphant conclusion.


    A sonnet is often full of high praise for the object of desire, but Millay's sonnet is devoid of romantic, endearing language.

    Millay uses overly-formal language that portrays her desires as out of her control:

    Am urged by your propinquity to find"

    • The speaker says she is 'urged' by his proximity to find him attractive. She can't help finding him attractive but this isn't because he is particularly attractive, it's just because he is nearby.

    • 'Propinquity' is an overly-formal word meaning 'closeness', but ironically, because of its formality and outdatedness, it actually connotes distance, not closeness.

    The speaker also uses understatements to show she feels nothing more than lust, which create a mocking, ironic tone:

    • a certain zest
    • the poor treason
    • his frenzy
    • season my scorn with pity

    The speaker's refusal to 'season' her 'scorn with pity' is interesting as it calls to mind the domestic role women are expected to fulfil, cooking and seasoning men's meals to their liking. She refuses to perform the domestic role expected of her by refusing to enter into a romantic connection with the addressee.


    The poem is full of physical, bodily imagery, such as:

    • Zest
    • To bear your body's weight upon my breast
    • Clarify the pulse
    • Undone, possessed
    • Stout blood against my staggering brain

    The use of bodily imagery contributes to the theme of body vs. mind in the poem. Millay's depiction of the female body rebels against the way the female body was often sexualised and objectified in sonnets by male speakers.


    Alliteration is a prominent feature of the poem, being used in almost every line and even spilling into other lines through enjambment.

    To bear your body’s weight upon my breast

    This use of plosive alliteration amplifies the speaker's experience of lust. It also accentuates the shift in tone to suddenly a sexual nature, taking the reader by surprise.

    Plosive alliteration

    The repetition of 'p' and 'b' sounds.

    There is a lot more to uncover in this poem, so don't let the analysis end here. What is your interpretation?

    I, Being born a Woman and Distressed - Key takeaways

    • 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' is a poem by Edna St Vincent Millay written during the roaring 1920s, at a time when women were gaining, and finding for themselves, new freedoms. Millay was the epitome of the 'New Woman'.
    • There are different interpretations of the poem, some believe it is ironic, others believe that the speaker is genuinely overcome with lust. There is also debate over whether the conflict of the poem lies between the speaker's lust and reason, rather than between herself and the male addressee. What cannot be denied is the poem's central focus on female sexuality and on the dichotomy between body and mind, lust and reason.
    • The poem is written as a Petrarchan sonnet in iambic pentameter, with significant variations in meter, including spondees and elongated lines in the sestet containing 11 syllables.
    • The rhyme scheme is ABBA ABBA, CDC DCD.
    • Millay uses very formal and mechanical language and understatements in her poetry, instead of elevated romantic language. Strong physical imagery and bodily imagery are also used, alongside a consistent use of alliteration.
    Frequently Asked Questions about I, Being born a Woman and Distressed

    When was 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' written?

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' was written in 1923 by Edna St. Vincent Millay.

    Is 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' a sonnet?

    'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' is a Petrarchan sonnet with fourteen lines, divided into an octave and a sestet following the traditional rhyme scheme and meter of a Petrarchan sonnet with iambic pentameter, but with some crucial variations.

    What is the theme of  'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed'?

    The key themes of 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' are gender and sexuality and the conflict between the body vs. the mind.

    What poems did Edna St. Vincent Millay write?

    Edna St. Vincent Millay is known for her lyrical verses and for her sonnets. Her most 'Renascence' (1912, 'First fig' (1920), 'I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed' (1923), 'The Ballad of the Harp-Weaver' (1922).

    What is Edna St. Vincent Millay's most famous poem?

    Her most famous poems are 'I, Being born a Woman and Distressed' (1923) and 'Renascence' (1912), a long lyric poem.

    What is the summary of 'I, being born a woman and distressed'?

    'I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed' is a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The poem explores the theme of gender inequality, specifically the idea that women are limited in what they can achieve and are often treated unfairly by society. Millay presents a strong, defiant voice in the poem, refusing to accept the limitations placed on her as a woman. She speaks of wanting to break free from the constraints of her gender and achieve greatness, despite the obstacles in her way. The poem ends with a powerful statement of the speaker's determination to succeed, despite the challenges she faces.

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