LAT Relationships

Are you someone who enjoys their personal space, or do you prefer living in close quarters with your family?

If the former is true, you may have heard of the term LAT relationships. In sociology, a term you will run into when discussing families and households is partners 'living apart together' (LAT). What are the reasons for more and more people deciding to live in LAT relationships?

• We will discuss what LAT relationships are.
• Next, we will look at the four main reasons behind the growing number of LAT relationships.
• Lastly, we will look at how sociologists have tried to research what this new form of family means for society and for the individual.

Let's start!

Living apart together: meaning

What does it mean when someone is in a living apart together (LAT) relationship?

Some LAT relationships are long-distance, while others consist of individuals living in the same city but at separate addresses. The decisions behind entering a LAT relationship vary from person to person.

Fig. 1 - Couples in LAT relationships live under separate addresses, but not necessarily in different locations.

Living apart together benefits: main reasons for growth

In the globalised labour market, people often change their location of work, which can mean they have to continue their relationships over long distances for a certain amount of time.

Women now have better career opportunities, which in turn enables them to enjoy more financial and social independence. Due to this, more women can and may choose to keep their own households separate from their partners. Feminists point out that having independent households eliminates conflict over the unequal division of household labour; an issue they have repeatedly been bringing attention to since the 1980s.

Changes in social attitudes towards diverse family forms

The nuclear family is no longer the only acceptable and respectable family form in the eyes of wider society. Diverse forms of relationships have been de-stigmatised and legitimised as intimate partnerships. LAT relationships are one of the many examples.

The impact of growing individualisation on LAT relationships

In postmodern times we have seen a rise in individualism, which means that people no longer feel the need to conform to societal norms. They happily enter relationship arrangements that are more suitable for them personally, even if this is not a 'traditional marriage'.

People might also choose to be living under separate addresses from their partners to have an individualised space, and to spend their spare time in a more personal manner.

Modern technology and LAT relationships

Technological advances have made it easier for partners to keep in touch and communicate even when apart. LAT relationships do not imply a lack of contact and intimacy. People can connect on the phone, through video, or through social media.

Fig. 2 - Modern technology has allowed LAT relationships to adapt to their situation.

Travelling is also much easier and cheaper than before, so LAT couples can commute easily between their separate locations.

LAT relationships in sociological research

In comparison to other social phenomenons, there is not much about LAT relationships in sociological research, as it is very difficult to find statistics on LAT relationships. Studies usually use the household as a unit of measurement, which of course does not apply for couples who live under separate addresses. The existing statistics are regarded as rather unreliable.

Are there disadvantages of living apart together?

LAT relationships started to interest sociologists in the 1970s. Researchers looked at ‘dual career couples’ and encountered the phenomenon of committed couples keeping up two separate households. Kirschner and Walum referred to them as ‘two location families’ in Alternative Lifestyles (1978).

Studies in the 1980s researched the advantages and disadvantages of LAT relationships. Gerstel and Gross (1984) found that the first cause of LAT relationships was the globalised economic and work system.

They concluded that commuting to work affects the traditional family form negatively. They viewed LAT relationships as a downgrade from the ‘perfect’ nuclear family style. With this, Gerstel and Gross went against the functionalist and Marxist argument that capitalism and the nuclear family suit each other perfectly well.

Studying modern LAT relationships

A new interest in LAT relationships appeared at the beginning of the 21st century, this time with a more open-minded approach towards diverse, non-traditional family forms.

One statistic from Gregory Guldner (2003) claims that 25 percent of unmarried Americans live in a long-distance relationship. While it gives an idea of the extent and growth of LAT relationships, by and large, it is not an accurate representation of the ‘new’ pattern.